


Gay Panic

by carpetsocks



Category: Milo Murphy's Law
Genre: Arguing, Bisexual Male Character, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, First Kiss, Flirting, Gay Panic, Getting Together, Humor, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Partial Nudity, Pining, Post-Canon, Sexuality Crisis, Staring, Trans Vinnie Dakota, drama and fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:00:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29792970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carpetsocks/pseuds/carpetsocks
Summary: Cavendish keeps staring and Dakota's done.
Relationships: Balthazar Cavendish/Vinnie Dakota
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Gay Panic

**Author's Note:**

> They share an apartment in this fic.

“Dakota! Stop taking so long in there!” Cavendish pounded on the door a few times to make his point.

There was a thump, the mechanical humming cut off, and Dakota opened the door. “I gotta dry my hair, Cav. I got a lot of hair.” He shook his head, damp curls bouncing.

“Then do that out here! We only have one shower and I—” Cavendish cut off as he looked into the bathroom and saw Dakota’s tracksuit folded on the counter. Which meant Dakota was…

His eyes dropped involuntarily down Dakota’s bare chest to… well at least he was wearing a towel. But the trail of hair up his stomach, the faint scars running underneath his pecs, the geometric tattoos snaking across his shoulders and down his arms, bringing out the slight hints of muscle…

“Uh Cavendish? Earth to Cavendish? If I’d known you were gonna drool over me shirtless I might have done this sooner…”

Cavendish’s face flushed almost as red as his bedspread even before he fully processed Dakota’s words. “What?!” He shrieked. _Done this sooner? What was Dakota insinuating? Did he… no, he was just messing with him._

Cavendish buried his face in his hands. “Can’t you dry your hair out here while I shower?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever floats your boat.” Dakota reached behind the door to unplug the hair dryer, grabbed his clothes, and then brushed past Cavendish. Cavendish jumped at the slight contact and Dakota stopped to stare up at him.

“You good?”

“Yes,” Cavendish squeaked. Dakota wasn’t wearing his glasses. His mismatched eyes were gorgeous, and it was made even better by the knowledge that Cavendish was one of the few to ever see them like this.

“Uh, you know, Milo invited us to go with him and his friends to Danville pride tomorrow, if you want to come…”

“I am not gay!” Cavendish practically yelled.

Dakota’s eyes widened a bit. “Whoa man, never said you were.” He looked away awkwardly. “Aaaanyways, um… that’s where I’ll be tomorrow. Just a heads up.”

He walked over to their kitchenette and plugged in the hair dryer. Cavendish wrung his hands together, watching his partner. Dakota looked up and raised an eyebrow at him and he fled into the bathroom.

Dakota flinched at the sudden slam of the bathroom door. As cute as Cavendish was when he was flustered, maybe he’d pushed it a little far this time. He sighed heavily and went back to drying his hair. He’d been crushing on that silver fox for years; he’d dropped so many hints with not even a bit of recognition in return. He should move on, but every time he thought he was finally losing his feelings, something like _that_ happened.

Cavendish was unknowingly leading him on, and it hurt. He ran a hand through his mostly dry hair and turned the hairdryer off. Silence descended over the apartment.

Well that was weird. Cavendish had said he was going to take a shower, but the water wasn’t even running.

He struggled against the temptation to knock on the door and make sure his partner was still alive. Cavendish would be annoyed, there was no reason to check…

“Hey, Cavendish, you good in there?” He cursed under his breath. What was he thinking?

Cavendish opened the door and peeked around the edge. Dakota crossed his arms as his partner’s eyes widened and started wandering across his half-naked body again. He was tired of being eye candy for a “straight” man.

“ _Cavendish_.” Okay, maybe that was a little harsh. Cavendish looked mortified to be caught staring again.

“What is it?” Cavendish asked meekly, not meeting Dakota’s gaze.

Oh right, he didn’t have an actual reason to bother him. “I think I left my glasses in there,” he lied.

Cavendish disappeared behind the door for a moment and Dakota heard a few items being shuffled around. “No,” his partner said, “Check underneath the couch; you dozed off there last night, remember?”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” He gave an apologetic wave and walked over to the couch. He could feel Cavendish’s eyes on his back and fought the urge to throw a pillow at the bathroom door. How was he supposed to check under the couch for his glasses without showing off his butt to Cavendish? As much as he loved the man, all this pointless staring was more annoying than flattering by now.

He took a deep breath and turned back around to face the bathroom. His partner started in surprise and slammed the door shut. Dakota groaned and sat on the couch. His glasses jabbed him from in between the cushions and he put them on, closing his eyes and sprawling back. The shower started and he sighed. All he had to do was get dressed before Cavendish got out, and then they could go about their day and pretend none of this ever happened.

“Dakota!!”

The yell woke Dakota up with a start. He rubbed at his eyes under his glasses. Why was Cavendish staring at the opposite wall so pointedly? Why was he on the couch? Why was there a towel on the floor?

Oh.

He scrambled to grab the towel and cover himself back up. “Uh, sorry about that Cav. I must’ve dozed off. You can look now, I fixed it.”

His partner didn’t turn back around. His head was down, and the tips of his ears were flushed, and he was shaking and what was going on?

“Uh Cav? You okay? Cavendish?”

Dakota tied the towel around his waist and got up. “Hey, I’m sorry man, it was an accident…” He put his hand on his partner’s shoulder.

Cavendish jumped away like he’d been burned. His whole face was as red as his ears. He stammered something unintelligible that trailed off as his eyes started dropping down Dakota’s chest again.

No. They weren’t doing this again. Dakota took a step forward, and then another one and another one until he was almost chest to chest with an increasingly flustered Cavendish.

“Cavendish. Eyes here.”

His partner’s eyes snapped up to meet his. Cavendish seemed frozen in panic, unable to affect what was about to happen one way or another.

Dakota grabbed his tie and pulled him down into a hungry kiss. If he only got one shot at this, he was going to make sure they would remember it.

He pulled back to breathe and Cavendish stumbled back against the wall, staring at him in shock. Dakota was about to say something, crack some joke, do _anything_ to snap Cavendish out of it when his partner’s eyes fluttered shut and he collapsed.

Dakota let out a sharp bark of something resembling laughter. Had Cavendish really fainted? This had to be the worst case of gay panic he’d ever seen. Cavendish would be so mad when he woke up. God, he’d just ruined the best friendship he’d ever had.

A few seconds later, Cavendish groaned. “Dakota?”

“Yeah, I’m here.” Satisfied that Cavendish would be alright, he went over to where he’d left his clothes and slipped on his tank top and jacket. Cavendish sat up, staring dazed at the wall. Dakota zipped up his jacket and brought his pants into the bathroom. He’d rather be fully dressed for this.

By the time Dakota was dressed, Cavendish had moved to sit on his mattress. “Dakota?”

“Yeah?” Dakota leaned against the kitchen counter.

“Did you just kiss me?” Cavendish asked distantly.

Dakota paused. He could say no and tell him it was all a weird dream, maybe that would fly… “Yup.”

Cavendish turned to look up at him. “Dakota,” he began very gently, “I’m not attracted to men.”

Oh hell nah.

“Bullshit!" He yelled, "You’ve been staring at me like I’m a Greek god for the past three weeks! Not to mention the smiles and the cuddling and-and either there’s something weird going on or you’re gay as hell!”

Cavendish shot to his feet. “I am not! I am not attracted to men, Dakota! Why can’t you just accept that?”

“Why can’t you even consider the possibility that you’re in love with me?” Dakota bit his lip and started towards the door. “ I just… I’m just gonna… I think I’m gonna spend the night at Murphy’s…”

“Wait, Dakota, please.”

“Not today, Cav.”

“Dakota…”

“No, Cav.”

“I love you!”

Dakota stopped, his hand on the doorknob. Cavendish had slapped his hands over his mouth and was staring at the ground, seemingly shocked into silence by what he had just said.

“You can’t, remember?” Dakota swallowed. His mouth tasted bitter. Cavendish slid his hands up to cover his whole face.

“Don’t leave.”

Dakota took his hand off the doorknob and lowered himself to the floor in front of Cavendish. “Fine. Let’s talk.”

“You… you love me?” Cavendish asked from behind his hands.

“Yeah, I do. Have for a long time.”

“How long?”

Dakota shrugged. “Couple years after we started being partners.”

Cavendish let out a strangled noise. “You never said anything…”

“Yeah, I didn’t really want _this_ to happen.”

“Dakota, I can’t be gay.” Cavendish’s eyes peeked between his fingers, begging Dakota to understand.

Dakota sighed. “Okay, so you’re straight. I get it, happens all the time. My bad.” He started to stand up.

“Wait,” Cavendish squeaked, “You don’t understand. I don’t understand. I… I love you. More than anyone. I think I'm in love with you. I just… I’m straight, I must be straight. What I’m feeling _must_ be platonic…” He buried his head back in his hands.

“Why? Why does it have to be? Why are you so unwilling to consider that you might actually have feelings for a guy?” Dakota tried to keep the frustration out of his words, but it leaked through anyway.

“I don’t know,” Cavendish murmured, “This is all so new for me.”

“Okay.” Dakota stared down at the floor. He remembered being confused too. Maybe if he helped Cav through this… well, he’d at least be able to salvage his friendship. “So did you like it?”

“Like what?” Cavendish had finally lowered his hands again, sensing the dissolving tension.

“When I uh, when I kissed you.”

There was a moment of silence, and then an ashamed but certain, “Yes.”

Dakota ignored the flip his stomach did at that answer and went out on a limb. “Do you want it to happen again?”

Cavendish bit his lip so hard Dakota was worried it was going to bleed. “Yes,” Cavendish whispered. “I… I didn’t get the chance to kiss you back.”

Dakota couldn’t help the grin that broke across his face. Slowly, he shifted so he was sitting on the mattress next to Cavendish. “Like right now?”

“Uhhh…” Cavendish’s brain was short-circuiting again, and Dakota settled for grabbing his hand and pulling it onto his lap.

“What about this?”

“Yes…but… I’m not…” Cavendish squeezed Dakota’s hand uncertainly. “You’re… I…”

“Hey,” Dakota cut off his stammering, “You can be straight and have exceptions. You don’t have to figure out all that right now. Or ever. We can just do this day by day.”

“I… yes.” Cavendish was staring mesmerized into his eyes again. Dakota looked so _happy_ ; it was beautiful. He’d do anything to keep that bright, adoring smile on his partner’s face.

“I love you, Cav. No matter how this turns out.”

Too overwhelmed for words, Cavendish simply nodded. Dakota leaned his head on his shoulder, a blissful smile radiating off him. And Cavendish was happy, underneath the screaming that _this is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong, you can’t do this with a man_ …

“Dakota?” Cavendish asked after several minutes of thinking. “Is there a specific word for the idea of being with a man feeling wrong despite this being completely perfect?”

Dakota laughed and when he looked up at Cavendish, his eyes were wet. “Yeah, Cav, there is. Internalized homophobia.” He paused. “You’ve never had a problem with me being bi, right?”

“Of course not! There’s nothing wrong with different orientations!”

“Then why do you have a problem with the possibility of it being you?”

Cavendish bit his lip and looked out the window. It looked like it might rain. “I… I’m not sure.”

“Yeah, that’s what it is.” Dakota let his head drop back onto Cavendish’s shoulder. “It took me a while to get over mine, it kinda sticks with you. But after a while you start to accept that you deserve to be happy.” He traced a thumb over Cavendish’s hand. “But if you decide that you’re straight or you don’t want this, just tell me, alright? And we’ll be friends again, no hard feelings.”

“That sounds nice,” Cavendish said. “I would hate to lose you.”

“Me too.”

Dakota sounded sleepy, and acting on impulse, Cavendish slipped an arm around his shoulders. Dakota cuddled into his shoulder and Cavendish let himself lay back on the mattress and be used as a pillow.

“I’ma take a nap,” Dakota mumbled into Cavendish’s chest.

“I might as well,” Cavendish said, slowly carding his fingers through Dakota’s curls until they were both asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are amazing!


End file.
